Meow. Hello.
I present to you, my portfolio site. Peruse around and enjoy my work.
“Permission to Mourn”
Strategy, design
“Permission to Mourn” explores my personal life dealing with grief with a look at some painful and very real struggles and the back and forth emotions. My mom was diagnosed with cancer in 2018 and it was a very hard and tiring battle. She tried countless remedies and underwent about four surgeries while continuing the use of chemo throughout everything. Despite grieving being a common human experience, there is a lack of awareness or proper understanding given to bereavement individuals. I chose grief as a topic to discuss in-depth because I feel that there is a certain taboo feeling surrounding the subject.
These photos convey pain and intimacy because they were taken in my house; rooms that are usually intimate and private settings. My body language in some of the photos speaks a lot more than any words could ever. My messy hair and no makeup illustrate an authentic and relatable look and feeling. You can almost “feel” my pain.
I think the fact that I used myself and my experience as a subject for this project, was probably a risky move on my part because I am placing myself and my story in a very vulnerable position. However, I think it was necessary for me to do this project in this manner to really bring home the message of how devasting and painful grief can be for a person behind closed doors. I really wanted to highlight the pain that sorrow can bring and embody. According to Aiello and Parry (2020), visual images are proficient at enacting social differences. I want to enact social change toward grief and have it be a part of the normal conversation just as much as we are now starting to hear about mental health. I feel that a project like this, where there are visually appealing images, can help send that message and begin a dialogue.
In addition, I also feel that the use of “matte” or flat-looking colours, as well as the flat black and white images with the hints of colour, turned these photographs into a real personal diary. The transition from somewhat coloured photographs to black and white ones with only hints of colour helped accentuate the lines and compositions. I used colour as a semiotic mode to add rawness to the unposed demeanour for half of the images. Like Kress, G. & Van Leeuwen. (2002) states, that low saturation colours can provide a brooding and moody feel to an image because it de-saturates it, which in this case, the black and white colours are being used to strip off everything, leaving nothing unturned. Leaving nothing to hide except my sorrow.
